Bipolar, bipolar disorder, Mental Health, mental illness, Uncategorized

Sometimes a psych meds reduction is the right choice

Things had been so difficult for me over the space of two years that I could not envisage life without being on a shit load of psych meds and on the highest dosage. It wasn’t until a psychologist told me that I seemed flat and emotionless that I started to see things differently and finally realised that I haven’t been feeling much since I’ve been drugged up to the eyeballs. She told me that she would call up my psych and ask for a meds reduction but being the impatient person that I am, I decided to take matters into my own hands and I reduced one of my medications by half and stopped taking one which had been known to cause suicidal thoughts anyway. Now it’s been a week of me taking just the same dosage of lithium and half the asenapine and I feel more alive, less drugged up and apart from some anxiety which was caused by my phone breaking and me being out of contact with people I’ve been fine! I called up my psych a couple of days ago and told her about the meds changes I had made and she was totally fine with it.

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Such madness to harm myself so I can feel okay

Such madness
To create more physical pain
To rid me of my pure pain
So I can ignore the horrible truth
Of my life-
The reason why
I’m half alive.
Copyright © Electra Rose January 2016

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