I haven’t blogged for months and it’s because I’ve been busy at university with my studies, my social life and bipolar. I am not going to lie and tell you it has been easy. There have been weeks when I’ve done no work because I’ve been depressed or manic, I was suicidal for a few days and I’ve had bursts of manic anger but I have managed. I have taken days off of school for doctors appointments or for sickness but I have completed all of my assignments and at the moment I am taking my exams and I have been doing well at school even though at times I have been really quite ill mentally. I have been extremely anxious for months and even had panic attacks. I have alienated friends by talking about my mental health too much with them and I have even lost friends from being too intense but I’m still here and I’m achieving and I’m happy to have met some wonderful people and to have reconnected with friends.
Recently my friend told me that me talking about my anxiety to him a lot was too much for him and I instantly took this on board and decided to go to the university staff about my mental health instead of my friends. I instantly felt so bad and guilty for what I had done and I wanted to remedy this.
I feel great because I have proved the people wrong who thought that I was too ill to go to university. Bipolar disorder may disable me but it is not stopping me from functioning and getting on with my life.