My grandmother passed away last week and the day after she passed away I lay in bed until 1:30pm extremely depressed. I became suicidal and started thinking about my rapes and how I wanted to kill myself because I’ve been raped.
I then smoked some cannabis to feel better when I saw people smoking outside. I felt okay for a few hours but once the high had worn off and I was coming home from a big city I got suicidal again and was thinking of overdosing and the urge was so strong.
It seemed my grandmother’s death really offset my borderline personality disorder.
Luckily I didn’t overdose but I came home for a week with my family feeling fragile and low and upset.
I even couldn’t go to my favourite burrito place because of the memories of the man I used to go with who I dated who also raped me.