art, creative writing, Poème, Poemas, Poems, Poesia, Poetry, Uncategorized

Heartbreak series- Was it the right decision?

Time goes by and I keep asking

If it was the right decision.

The anger and the upset hurt my soul

But 10 years is so long

And my heart bleeds for those 10 years.

I know I was so angry

At your denial of the struggles that you hide,

Your denial of your constant unhappiness,

Your denial at your crippling insecurities.

But it hurts me more

Than when I loved that guy.

I don’t cry

But I feel the piercing pain inside-

It’s like a living thing has died.

And yet, just four months and I cried

Over him for a year.

10 years and I can’t seem to find a tear.

Perhaps our tie

Didn’t matter to me.

 

 

Copyright © Electra Rose January 2016

Advertisements
Standard
art, creative writing, Poème, Poemas, Poems, Poesia, Poetry, Uncategorized

I’m done with unrequited love

I’m done with unrequited love.

Stop killing me with your lack of affection.

Friendly smiles just from friends not lovers.

There’s no romantic affection.

 

I’m done with unrequited love.

It’s killing me.

Please let the feeling’s stop.

I can’t bear the rejection,

The dejection.

It’s killing me.

 

My heart is shattered

Because I don’t mean enough to you.

I don’t want to feel anymore.

If only I didn’t feel so much.

 

Copyright © Electra Rose January 2016

Standard
art, creative writing, Poème, Poemas, Poems, Poesia, Poetry, Uncategorized

A moment changes everything

It is so difficult to accept

That what was once etched in stone

Is now chalk washed out in rain.

Time to accept

That everything can change

In a moment.

You cry for months about the one you lost

Until you move on

And tattoo others into your ever changing skin.

 

It is so hard to accept

That what I thought was forever was a lie-

Forever dies

In a moment.

Sometimes goodbye is adieu

And there’s nothing you can do

But cry

Until you find someone new.

 

Copyright © Electra Rose January 2016

Standard
art, creative writing, Mental Health, mental illness, Poème, Poemas, Poems, Poesia, Poetry, ptsd, Rape, sexual assault, Sexual Violence, Uncategorized

I want someone to tell me it will be okay

I want someone to tell me it will be okay
But it can’t ever be with pain under the surface
Of my life.

My body reminds me of my rape.
Of his violent body forcing itself inside
Mine.

I now bravely wear the dress I wore that day
And the bra
And I feel powerful.
But nothing can undo what he did to me,
What he took from me.

There are times I wish I could live a normal life.
Not worry that a man is going to fast
And needs to slow down.
Not feel that all men could potentially rape.
But how can I?

Instead I live this beautiful lie.
The lie that he didn’t ruin me with his act
That I’m not staying away from the axe.

Copyright © Electra Rose January 2016

Standard
art, creative writing, Mental Health, mental illness, Poème, Poems, Poesia, Poetry, ptsd, Rape, sexual assault, Sexual Violence, Uncategorized

Shisha calms my bones

Blood in my blunt nails
Each time it feels I’ve failed-

Lost self, lost night, lost life.
But Shisha stopped me bleeding so much tonight.

Shisha calmed my bones.
It took me home
To a tranquil place
Where I was safe.

To stop the bleeding it seems
You have to give in to other indulgences,
Other sins.
I have too much pain stored in my bones
To cope all on my own.
My trauma doesn’t live in my mind anymore
But it’s still stuck in my bones.
I need some release,
I need some calming shisha,
A cigarette or two.
At least that isn’t as bad as subtly making myself bleed.
Copyright © Electra Rose January 2016

Standard