Anorexia relapse

I’m having a minor anorexia relapse.

I didn’t eat any proper food for lunch or dinner yesterday or eat breakfast and today all I ate was some patatas bravas and I don’t want to eat dinner.


My friend doesn’t believe I have eating disorders

So because I’ve not completely stopped eating and I’ve just been cutting out carbs and eating salads and soups without bread apparently I don’t have an eating disorder.

I have still been throwing up unhealthy food and of course she should understand that there is a spectrum with eating disorders. Just because I’m not starving myself completely doesn’t mean I don’t have an eating disorder.

I am still feeling very low on energy all the time.


Thursday food diary

I ate a chicken salad wrap and then ended up impulsively giving into purging my brownies and also the chicken wrap. I then felt so guilty about the purging that I missed my class.

Then for dinner I had vegetarian pasta without cheese and ate two thirds of it.

No snacks and no coke and only tea with oat milk and one sugar because I like some sugar.


I have developed eating disorders since going back to university

During the first week of university I wasn’t skipping meals but I was eating half a sandwich for lunch and I had no appetite to eat.

During my second week of university I skipped meals and I kept eating less and less. I was avoiding carbs and when I forced myself to eat a proper meal for lunch so I could work on my deadlines I didn’t eat much of the rice. On the same day I went to the toilet twice on my date with my boyfriend for our ten month anniversary and threw up.

Then the next day I only had one meal and I left loads of chips and just had one vegan sausage.

The following day I ate half a salad with no carbs and then had a mushroom soup for dinner without bread.

Today I ate Mac Donald’s and I just meant to get three chicken selects but they gave me a whole meal which I ended up eating even the chips because I was so hungry.

However, half an hour later I ended up throwing up the chips and chicken as I felt so guilty about eating the chips.

For dinner once again I had a vegetable soup without bread.

I have been drinking the oat milk with the least calories for the past week.

I have had phases before which could have resulted in an eating disorder but I managed to stop myself.

I don’t want to stop because I want to get thinner and feel better about myself, I like feeling in control and I think this was caused be my parents constantly making remarks about my weight.

Bipolar, bipolar disorder, Mental Health, mental illness, Uncategorized

Bipolar and disordered eating

It is something that only happens to me in manic episodes but sometimes when I am manic I just decide to extreme diet and extreme exercise and not eat very much at all. Recently it seemed like I was relapsing into this because I just didn’t want to eat and I had to force myself to eat. Luckily, I had it in me to make myself continue eating but it is strange how with bipolar you can so easily slip into disordered eating. When I am not manic I always eat and I am fine but it is only if I’m manic or if I start to diet that I relapse into this.