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When you like the idea of someone and not because you have a close connection 

So I went to my friend Josh’s birthday party last night and after he said he was going to make out with this very pretty girl I got very jealous and eventually very low and upset. I ended up crying into Josh’s arms and telling him that I have feelings for him and then saying that I was very upset and that I had to leave. 

I think sometimes it’s just one of those things; you want what you can’t have and you like a guy who is great on paper as he ticks so many boxes but you don’t actually have a strong connection with him.

I still feel low today but I’m sure in a few days I’ll be fine. I just think I need to take a break from Josh for at least a month. 

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Poems, Poetry, Rape

Six months on 

Six months on and I still feel the sharp, stabbing pain Like it was yesterday. 
Six months on and I still feel the hurt in my heart

Like it was yesterday.
Six months on and I still treasure those wonderful moments

Like they were yesterday.
Six months on and I still grieve

Like it was yesterday.
Six months on and my soul cries for what happened

Like it was yesterday. 
Six months on and you still hold a place in my heart

In spite of yesterday. 
Six months on and I compare other men to you 

Just like yesterday.
Six months on and my life will be forever changed 

Ever since yesterday. 
My trauma was six months ago 

But it still feels like yesterday. 
Copyright © Electra Rose January 2016

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creative writing, Poems, Poetry

There is no consolation

Occasionally I feel a throbbing pain at the depths of my heart. 

I pour my soul out in art

To console myself,

In an attempt to forget.

But it seems you never forget

You just get better at pretending to forget. 
I want to cry but I don’t even have the consolation of tears. 

I always feared

The sharp blows of lost love.

Tears 

aren’t even enough

Because nothing makes up for what you’ve lost, 

What you once had. 

Everything else seems so insignificant in comparison to what you have lost. 

You have lost your whole world and you will never get it back. 

Copyright © Electra Rose January 2016

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creative writing, Poems, Poetry

La Douleur Exquise

A thorn in the heart,
The long-lasting longing.
Bitter love;
Romance is dead.
Exept in the mind
Exists an inferno
Of imagined kisses,
imagined meetings.
All that exists are glances and smiles exchanged,
Hand holding.
Promising gestures
But no actions.

How could I be so naive?
The serpent withholds the forbidden fruit;
The scent of tempting, out of reach raspberries poisoning my mind.
The centre of my back bleeds
rose-red blood.
The perfume of the red rose
Is bitterly beautiful
And lethally sweet.

The painful promise of beauty;
Pure lies.
My English teacher was right;
Love is hell.
Except it was never love,
Always la douleur exquise.
All I know is la douleur exquise.

Copyright © C.M.H July 2014

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