Over the past four years of struggling with not just mental illness but severe mental illness I have often depended on medication and my therapy to get me better.
For years I kept hoping the medication was what would help me get better and then when I found out about my borderline personality disorder in 2017 I thought it was therapy that was the answer.
I believe ultimately I was right that these two things would help me get better but I also needed to want to get better myself and try to get better myself. After my last post I went to a hospital and before I got better I got worse.
I cut myself with a plastic cup as part of a start of a suicide attempt.
However after a couple of days I decided that I didn’t want to harm myself and ever since every time that I feel like overdosing or harming myself seriously I think to myself that I don’t want to harm myself and I have the strength not to. It is not therapy that gave me this strength but myself.
Things are not perfect. I am on antidepressants and they are making me very anxious and I am not taking my medication frequently and I’m not sure why but I’m okay.