Why travel alone and why it’s great to stay in youth hostels

Some people may tell you that travelling alone is dangerous especially if you are a woman and that you shouldn’t but I am going to tell you the absolute opposite.

Travelling alone somewhere nearby and safe like Europe first if you come from Europe helps you to learn how to be safe and what not to do for when you go travelling far away; I learnt from being chatted up by guys in clubs and being mugged and having my cigarettes stolen in France how to keep safe.

So why travel alone? It gives you the opportunity to meet lots of new people and you aren’t constantly stuck with the same people and not meeting new people.

What’s more, if you speak languages and want to practice but most of your friends don’t you have the perfect opportunity to practice.

Why else? Well, you learn more about yourself and you get to experience interesting and fun experiences with people from all around the world.

But most importantly, you learn about new cultures; try new foods, see beautiful art and architecture and perhaps history if that is your thing.

Travelling broadens your mind and is also a very fun and exciting thing to do. So if you’re a thrill seeker pack up your bags, save some money up and go!

Why stay in youth hostels instead of hotels? The obvious answer is that they are cheaper but I’m going to argue most importantly that you get to meet people from all around the world and learn from their experiences and have fun with them.

So yeah, travelling alone is a life changing experience.


The self destructive nature of bipolar disorder

With any other illness you would expect one would take the tablets every single day like with life threatening illnesses such as epilepsy or injections for diabetes but no bipolar disorder is an illness that renders the sufferers not only to being less like to take meds when they get manic because they feel good and don’t want to come down or perhaps they just think they don’t need them but they also in some cases start drinking and taking illicit drugs when this is absolutely NOT advised for bipolar because it can just make you very ill.

Not only that but we disappoint our loved ones with the fallouts of our manic episodes leaving ourselves even more isolated than we already were and sometimes we even cause massive ruptured in personal relationships that will never be resolved and lose many friends.

Not only all of this but the worst thing is that we continue to do these things over and over again without learning how to put things right both for our recovery, our substance misuse problems and our relationships.


If all someone does is make you feel bad about yourself and you have a severe mental illness you just have to cut them out

So my godmother has making me feel shitty about myself for the past year. She has called me self-centred, egocentric and self-obsessed and other awful things and she also refuses to accept I have mental illnesses and need to take medication and she is just ultimately a horrible person to me.

So I decided that although she is my mother’s best friend I just had to let her go; her constant negativity was just making my borderline personality disorder really bad.

A I kept feeling shitty after every dinner with her.

B she didn’t care that I had a panic attack so severe it felt like a heart attack and she didn’t ask me how I was.

C she told me I was dropping out of uni again when I was only taking time out again.

After this very last very offensive one I decided that it was time to cut her out for my own health.


Guess I’ve just got a lust for life and I can’t wait for my exciting travels

Don’t get me wrong I am ill but yet still I have a lust for life and I don’t want to die anymore:



Having great relationships with people in my life means that I can be happy and content even in extreme bipolar episodes

Last December I attempted suicide twice and almost died the last time but a lot has changed since then; in February it will be a year since I’ve ODed and although I was in hospital in the summer I have now gotten over my eating disorder problems I had a couple of months back and I haven’t self harmed in a couple of months.

I have also steered clear of drugs for maybe five or six months now.

What I am trying to say I am in a good place but it is not just helped by the fact that I have been in recovery of late; my great friends, loving boyfriend and amazing sister and loving parents have helped me stay content and happy even through the bad times.


Why I don’t speak to my bipolar friends or hospital friends anymore

The main reason I don’t speak to people I met at bipolar support groups and friends from hospital is that these relationships normally turn out to be toxic. Sometimes all you have in common is that you both have mental disorders and so that’s all you talk about and then people start to rely on people.

Also, two people I met at hospital just didn’t make me happy or fulfil my life in any way.

But ultimately, I am more than just a woman with now mild borderline personality disorder and bipolar which although it is getting a lot easier to manage is hard to live with.

I am a linguist and I love music and art and poetry and films and great TV like Bojack Horseman and I love travelling and I’m a feminist.

I’m NOT bipolar; I live with bipolar. I’m a lot more than just a mental illness.


I lost the girl who called herself my best friend yesterday

I posted a while ago about how upset I was when my friend asked for space from me and we have had constant arguments since and not been taking.

We were supposed to be best friends but now I realise only the friends I’ve made at school and university have stayed true to me.

My best friend from primary school and my best friend from a family friend both left me when I started to get ill in 2014 with bipolar and most of my friends from bipolar support group have left me when I got unstable with borderline personality disorder even though I’m fine now.

I am just realising that I’ve been focusing on the wrong people and even my friend from the psychiatric hospital is flakey and not a good friend.

I am feeling very sad that I’ve lost a good friend but I know this is in part my borderline personality disorder. However I am happy to have reconnected yesterday with other true friends.

I feel like the friend I lost wasn’t a true friend as they never are if you lose them.