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Why do so many men not take no for an answer? Male entitlement I guess

I am in a hostel and I don’t feel safe here. There is a man who kept flirting with me and making kissy noises even after I told him I have a boyfriend and then he pretended he was going to lock me in the lift with him. He also touched me physically on the legs; I know male predators when I see them.

So instead, I’m staying up because I’m scared because this is what being a rape survivor is like.

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creative writing, Feminism, Poems, Poetry, Sexual Violence

Boys Will Be Boys

Shocked, confused,
ashamed.
No amusement
At the strike of embers.
Twelve and no reaction to their toot;
Insignificance of harassing shouts and toots.

Summer lesson
Of the place of women;
Men may whistle, shout and toot
But to women it’s all a hoot.
Pretend you aren’t burnt
by the embers
As they’re only embers.
Shrug it off;
That’s just how it is.
We all learn;
Boys will boys.

Fourteen and at a school dance
After a glance
A boy puts his hand up my skirt-
I didn’t even flirt.
I stop him and pretend I’m not burnt by the embers
As they’re just embers.
Shrug it off;
That’s just how it is,
We all learn;
Boys will be boys

I’m eighteen and seriously sexually assaulted,
I didn’t view it as assault.
When you try not to remember
When the embers
Hit you
You think nothing of the flames
When they burn you.
Shrug it off;
That’s just how it is,
We all learn;
Boys will be boys.

Society taught me women are dolls for men to play with.
I thought it was okay for them to play with me,
To tug my hair without my consent.

We need to stop normalising verbal sexual abuse
If we want to stop viewing physical sexual abuse
As inevitable
And trivial.
Embers are the start of a flame.

Copyright © C.M.H July 2014

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creative writing, Poems, Poetry

The Aftermath of Sexual Assault

Two nightmares in one day-
Nightmarish nap
As a man touches my bottom,
Another tugs and pulls at my hair-
Frozen and traumatised again,
Reliving of sexual assault
Both awake
And dreamlike state
As the black cloud of shame,
Powerlessness and embarrassment
Engulfs.

A bastard snarls and smirks winking out of his car, “WO-MA-N”
Frozen and traumatised again,
reliving of sexual assault
As the black cloud of shame,
Powerlessness and embarrassment engulfs.

My dad touches my shoulder without warning-
Frozen and traumatised again
Reliving of sexual assault
As the black cloud of shame,
Powerlessness and embarrassment
Engulfs.

I lie in his bed and our tongues touch in sync,
Touches, caresses
But then a trigger-
AH
A horror movie jump-
I am frozen and traumatised again,
Reliving assault
As the black cloud of shame,
Powerlessness and embarrassment
Engulfs.
His innocent actions reminded
Of the almost diamond thief-
Pushes and shoves to stop him stealing my diamond.

Waiting in a café for a friend,
My friend creeping like a lion waiting to pounce-
The brush of her innocent index
And the consequence-
Horror movie jump
And a shrill screech
As the black cloud of shame,
Powerlessness and embarrassment
Engulfs.

For two weeks
Every man a saber-tooth tiger,
Daddy the only tame tiger.
Until that ended.
Yet the black cloud of shame,
Powerlessness and embarassment
Often resurfaces
Engulfing me.

Copyright © C.M.H July 2014

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