I want someone to tell me it will be okay
But it can’t ever be with pain under the surface
Of my life.
My body reminds me of my rape.
Of his violent body forcing itself inside
I now bravely wear the dress I wore that day
And the bra
And I feel powerful.
But nothing can undo what he did to me,
What he took from me.
There are times I wish I could live a normal life.
Not worry that a man is going to fast
And needs to slow down.
Not feel that all men could potentially rape.
But how can I?
Instead I live this beautiful lie.
The lie that he didn’t ruin me with his act
That I’m not staying away from the axe.
Copyright © Electra Rose January 2016